Who remembers the novelty song “Itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, yellow polka dot bikini”? Personally i’m talking about the re-released version by Timmy Mallett, not the original from the 60’s! Timmy Mallett the guy with the quirky glasses, crazy shirts, a large pink mallet and host of one of my favourite shows as a kid, Wacaday! Which thinking about it, is where my dislike of plasters originates from. When he used to play “Mallets Mallet”.
Mallett’s Mallet is a word association game, where you musn’t pause, hesitate, repeat a word, or say a word I don’t like… otherwise you get a bash on the head like this…or like this…the one with the most bruises loses…. look at each other and go Bleugh! Look at everyone at home and go Bleugh! Everyone at home look at them and go Bleugh!
It was hi-lar-ious!
But the losers got a “Wacky Plaster” and it was stuck on their chin, cheek or forehead. Bleugh! This is a blogging moment / revelation / big reveal / over share! It’s where my disgust of plasters and sticky things obviously comes from. It all makes sense to me now!
Well, to get back to my point, its one of those songs that has never left me and I can still remember the video! Here’s a quick reminder, or an education in 90’s fashion, what a tight perm bob looked like and how cringe music videos were back then!
The reason this song has been on repeat in my head, is because I’m on holiday count down! But, the really exciting news is, it’s now finally under two months away, woohoo! Which means its time to start shopping.
Shopping, planning outfits and being organised way in advance is my thing! Luckily I have a fairly ordinary life, with a relatively low-grade social life, which means my obsession for internet searching and shopping can be carried out over weeks, well actually months, as I count down to one of maybe three exciting events a year! What … a … loser!
So this rather long introduction is actually leading into a post about my recent (have you guessed yet) search for (yep you did guess) bikinis! The teeny weeny bits of lycra that I need to stay up, when I get out of the pool in a hurry to run over to a child crying that he got splashed. Stay on, when I’m carrying a toddler that is flipping out like a slippery wet fish on dry land. And give me ultimate tanning exposure, so I don’t come home with geometric patterns across my chest and shoulders, that will remain long after the tan anywhere else on my body!
So here are some of my favourite finds, but not just for me, also my man and boys.
Diving in with a coordinating family collection from Boden
Before I move onto the next collection and fave finds, there is one thing I should explain. Last summer, around half way through our family holiday, our five year old, who had spent most of the day in the pool, started to complain. Whenever he came out of the water he complained his shorts were hurting him. They were the board short style trunks, with mesh pants inside. We just assumed he had some chafing from the saltwater pool. At the end of the day, when it was time to pack up, my husband went to help him out of his trunks and when trying to pull them down, our son let out a scream so loud, everyone turned to look!
Alarmed, but not wanting to attract further attention, we both tried to quickly establish why he was creating such a horrific scene. It was difficult to understand what was going on when looking at the small, private parts of our son inside his little shorts, but we did establish that somehow his skin had got stuck through the teeny weeny little holes in the mesh pants of his swimming trunks.
Faced with something not dissimilar to the “Frank & Beans” scene out of “Something about Mary”, we grabbed all of our belongings and raced back to our hotel room. After cutting him out of the shorts that weren’t attached to him, we were faced with an unbelievably large problem of swollen skin that was stuck through some tiny pin head sized holes. We had no other option, other than to call the hotel front desk and ask for medical assistance.
Luckily a very lovely doctor came to our room and freed our son, without any blood shed or long term damage. Unfortunately, we are all just a little bit mentally scarred and don’t want a repeat of that freak accident. So both boys will only ever wear the lycra suits or shorts from now on.
So moving on to the next family collection…
Other good high street options for ladies bikinis is Topshop, New Look or Matalan, as i’ve seen they have some great mix and match collections. River Island have a good choice for men and Debenhams or Zara have some great designs for kids.
Top tip, by early, as they sell out.
Happy holiday swimwear hunting!